Saturday 11 February 2017

a few recent interactions

Sorry for once again being absent. I've had a few things to deal with the last few months personally .But I'm back and decided on  a new take on the blog this year. Last few posts have been pretty reflective, but I want to get back to the craziness that is internet dating.  So I plan to update you weekly with a few of the mad things that people have said or claimed to be whilst chatting. Still without a new laptop (fairy godmother is in hiding , I keep asking for new shoes !) So I'm afraid no pictures. Besides ,I'm sure I would get into trouble for posting some of the photos I've been sent , or unmasking the naughty men who are cheating on their wives !
So here's a few gems from the last few weeks.


Diary entry 19th January:
So this week I've been asked to drive to Dunnow to meet a naked drunk guy who wanted me to get stoned with him ('its okay I'm an honest guy and will take you out for a meal next time ').
I've walked to the pub for a date with my dress tucked up under my short jacket and flashed my knickers to the whole world. Once there and on the date the guy kept saying he wanted more than one drink and asked if he could stay. I said no, he then held my hand and then when he dropped me off at the end of the road , had a snog and asked again to stay. Again no was the answer. The following day he tells me there was no spark . Funny that , I'm sure you would of found it if I'd said you could stay ! Stupid thing is his twin brother tried the same trick about 4 years ago !
Then we had the waterski instructor who is also a fireman who has been doing up a barn conversion, but all his photos of him aren't in the same type of surroundings as the 'professional ' looking ones of the barn interior. Seemed too good to be true.
Oh and lastly the young lads who I am old enough to be their mother and the comment that I look like a tonka toy you can't brake ! Not sure if the spelling mistake was intended but either way I'm still not sure if it was an insult or a compliment!



Diary 2nd February
This weeks gems include a guy who likes showing off on face time , and even when I told him no, still sends me a picture of him in and out of his tidy whities.  Then we have the astronaut who can't decide If he lives in Colchester or Ipswich, who only wants friends, but wants to meet up without trading numbers , in a pub and wants to smooch in the car and feel my curves afterwards !
And finally the one who wanted to meet for a drink. The policeman. Who as soon as he had my number he stopped messaging. I'm sure my numbers not on the most wanted list ! Oh and as a policeman he didn't know where my village was, even though it's just across a small creak to him !

Diary 11th February.

This week I have apparently been chatted up by one of the best looking guys who has ever ridden a moto gp bike. Mr playboy himself Randy de Puniet. Now ladies you need to Google him if you don't know who he is. He is gorgeous!  He is apparently now a fireman in London who is also a semi pro football player who only last week snapped his leg playing football ! I'm yet to find the source of the fake leg break picture !
Then we have the guy who says he's single , but both his and his fiancees Facebook profiles show,otherwise ( the secrets are uncovered when you trade mobile numbers that sync to your Facebook messenger ) . And finally the friend of a friend who is on tinder , but I know is married !

Oh the tales people tell !