Love, Lust and friendship

I am currently in the midst of a house move (hopefully) and whilst clearing out the cupboards I have had time to reflect on the last three years of living in my home. This is the first house myself and my daughter have lived in without the presence of a permanent  male. We have had our ups and downs but we have managed with most things - even general DIY! But as much as I have embraced my own company in between the dating and short lived relationships, I know I am still looking for my match.

I have decided to start dealing with people the same way I deal with my household and personal items. At home, instead of hanging on to items that haven't seen the light of day for 6-12 months, I am ruthless and I put these items out. But with people I tend to cling on in the hope they might actually fulfill there potential purpose. This includes friends as well as potential suitors. Sometimes I am strict in my ways, for instance if a guy I am talking to starts sending me unwanted rude photos, I block them. If a guy doesn't text on a regular basis and seem keen, or they cease communication I delete their numbers after a week.

The problem comes with guys I have dated, liked and lost. I always let them come back into my life, with their empty promises of
 "Oh Bonnie I'm sorry , I have no excuse for not being in touch"
or my personal favourite:
"I'm so stupid I have a stunning woman whom I'm crazy about and I cant get it right . I'm a twit"

I'll tell you who is the stupid one- me !! For not blocking your sorry arse out my life the last time you pulled that line on me! Seriously, whats wrong with my brain sometimes. I go soft and mushy and develop selective memory. Well no more. from now on the old saying :

is what I will love by. I will waste no more time on people who didn't live up to the mark the first time around. Life is too short for me to be wasting any more time on these idiots who after all are only after an ego boost. When it comes to actually proving they " love you" they seem to be lacking. Actions speak louder than words.

I have also come to realise maybe they way we approach dating is all wrong. Not so much in how you find a potential mate, but in how you move forward. So many times we fall for someone on looks or the date itself, as opposed to the important thing- the person they are inside. Anyone can buy nice clothes, take you to fancy restaurants, wine & dine you and shower you with goods. But would you still be interested when he or she is lazing around in their shorts and t-shirt at the weekend ? Could they keep your attention by talking about their day ? Do you even notice the little things in them? Their eye colour, the way they make a joke to ease the seriousness of a subject? How they like you to stroke their back or run your fingers up their arm to comfort them?
Maybe the best way is actually to be friends first. To learn about each other, what makes them tick. As opposed to how someone tries to impress you. Love is like a marathon, its not a short sprint. Burn out too quickly and once the glitter has gone, there is nothing left. Start at a steady relaxed pace, both being yourselves, and you find out if you really can make each other happy or if it is just a lustful need you want satisfied. An itch you need scratching. From now on I will be looking underneath the sugar coasting for the man I can curl up next to in my joggers and not be judged for it.
If he accepts me in my dungeree shorts- hes a true keeper!

Spring Horn

There seems to be a broken record playing on the dating sites at the moment. Its the same old classic , titled
"Let me show you your body parts " by horny male.

Heard of it ? I'm fed up to the back teeth of it ! It seems most males are currently only interested in what you are wearing, what they aren't wearing and what they could do to any female who shows them the remotest of interest.
Is it because the weather has got warmer? Is it like the mood swings us females get? Similar to the lunar "lunatic" cycle ? where all the Werewolves and nutters come out on a full moon?
I shall term this phenomenon as "spring  horn"




It begins with trading usual innocent messages, then they suggest chatting via KIK or some other instant message method. Then they decide the best way to impress you is to show you there manhood. As I have mentioned before, its not the prettiest male anatomy part and apart from at a strip show I don't think most normal women place any preference or interest to size. But these men seem to think it has special powers that will make you talk dirty to them and drop all your clothes on the floor to come see them in all their full glory!

Lads - if you want a woman like that look elsewhere ! I am not interested in how long it is measured up against your computer keyboard (Seriously I hope that man was using his own personal keyboard and not a shared work one! Or at the very least had some cleaning wipes to hand !) Maybe the world is missing the old Phone boxes. Its where you could find the business cards for women happy to take your cash to see your manhood.