Stone cold sober- or not

I admit chatting to someone for the first time can be nerve wracking. Its a selling game, you have to sell yourself, all your good points and cover over the cracks. Meeting in person can be an exciting nervous feeling- if you are at all interested in some one. I have found myself with butterflies in my stomach, or an attack of the giggles or frozen smile on more than one occasion. Those I class as good dates.

As we all know first impressions count. In truth with internet dating you only message someone if you find them attractive, and secondly if they seem genuinely to have something interesting to say.  Sometimes after a few messages or days the chat vanishes and we loose interest or move on to someone else. I never take this personally. Its just run its natural course of events. I'm sure I have done that to a few guys too.  The spark has to be there, and if the match burns out you cant re light it (bit like ex's really- maybe I should start thinking that simply when it comes to them !) There are also some massive easy do and don'ts when actually chatting to someone for the first time. Basics we all should know.
1.Use proper English and spell
2. Pay attention. - so you don't ask the same thing over and over again
3. Be up beat and happy- don't talk about ex's or how tough life is for you at the moment.
4. Don't communicate when drunk or under the influence of drugs.

Let me tell you an example of the last one:
Started chatting to a guy who looked pleasing to the eye. He had messaged me first so I thought Id see what he had to say. We exchanged a few simple joking light hearted messages on the dating site and then said I seemed fun and down to earth could he call me . Well I was bored at home so I gave him my number.
He called straight away. He seemed a bit nervous and kept laughing in middle of sentences. He didn't seem to have much of any substance to say and kept saying "yeah girl, yeah girl". The topic changed to the fact I had just had my bag stolen from my car and how when it was found all that was missing was £20. My phone, ipod, credit cards etc were all still there. I said I had a feeling I knew who did it and that she probably used my money to feed her weed habit. He replied "yeah babes well I have to admit I had a joint before I called you"

Don't get me wrong, that's up to him if he wants to do that.I certainly don't. But I suddenly realised that was why he was laughing and not making sense. He was saying things like "we been chatting for hours " when it had only been 10 minutes. Believe me it was the hardest longest ten minutes of my life!  He said he was nervous and never knows what to say or do around a woman. I politely told him having a smoke before making the first call was probably not a good idea.  I made my excuses and said goodbye.


I'm actually glad to say he hasn't been in contact since !