Friday 21 February 2014

The difference between Women & Men

As time goes on and we all grow older (some of us less gracefully than others) it has struck me how men and women change  their  dating behavior. I'm not being mean but its always been an unwritten rule that women think and men just do. But the tide is changing. Women have become more empowered as the years have gone on. The times are long gone where a woman with stay in an unhappy relationship because they were worried they couldn't survive- physically, mentally and financially. But now we are starting to realise we can change a light bulb and fend for ourselves and are finding the power to take back control of the Television remote !

So what does this mean in the world of dating? Well it seems to mean that women are more determined to get what they want and from who they want when they want it. All power to the female revolution ! Go girls ! Go out there and grab life by the balls so to speak. Don't get walked over by men and bow down to their every command. If you don't want to watch football on a Sunday as there is a film on or you want to go out for a romantic woodland walk- tell him. If you don't like the way he picks his nose- tell him. We have the confidence to know that if he wants to be with us he will be, and if he doesn't like what we say he's not worthy of your attention or love. That doesn't mean to say I'm suggesting we pick faults all the time, none of us are perfect we all have flaws in our nature and behaviour. 

As for the male species- how are they evolving? Well it seems they have discovered a new function and part of their anatomy- the under used brain ! Men seem to have developed the power of thought ! They can think for themselves now and are spending far too much time thinking ahead and analyzing their feelings. 
Whoa !!! Hold up there ! Men are not supposed to think with their brains- they tend to lead with their lower body region! Women for years have wired their actions into this belief. If a woman wanted a man to do anything- they used their bodies power of persuasion to get what they want. Now it appears we have to start acting differently. Women can spend ages analysing a single text message- 'what does this mean,what are they trying to say' and now we have to try and think two steps ahead of a man (lets face it we are always one step ahead anyway!). The most common sentence I have started to hear is "I've been thinking" and from the mouth of a man that's a pretty scary concept!

So whats my advise? Well I plan to try and out wit these thinkers, and use my woman's intuition to be ahead of the game, to see the sentence before its even formed in their brains. To engage their thought process along another avenue to stop them thinking. To walk away if the pauses between sentences become too long. 
And my advise for men out there:
Stop thinking- just do !
   

Thursday 6 February 2014

School boy error

I've mentioned the pit falls of photos on profiles before. Unfortunately as its the first part of your on line dating profile anyone takes notice of (closely followed by where you live, age and job title !) you have to make sure you sell yourself well.
My current profile photo is a bit risque, not rude but just attention grabbing. So far it hasn't changed the amount or type of attention I get in a negative way so that's all good. If you got it flaunt it is always a good motto to have !
So as a seasoned pro dater I stumbled across a school boy error made by someone on their profile photos.
I happened to see he had viewed my profile so I returned the favour:



Local lad- tick
Easy on the eye - tick
Age range-tick 
Drives -tick









So what did he do wrong I hear you ask. Well a couple of his photos he had snatched off of his Facebook page, and off someone else's page. How do I know this? Well because at the bottom of the photo was the name of the page owner. His name and in the other one a girls name.
So as a good detective I searched him out on Facebook. On his semi public profile this photo shows up. Nothing wrong with that. On the ladies profile is the other photo in one of her albums. So wheres the problem?
Well for a guy who claims to be single his Cover picture on Facebook is of him and this lady cuddled together ! From a quick scope of his page it appears she lives/works away in another part of the country and he's travelling back and forth to see her .

So Dr Watson we can deduce that whilst the cats away the mouse will play !
When I mentioned this to someone today he said "Yeah well I did something similar when I was in my early twenties " That's the point- in your early twenties we all do things along these lines. But in your late thirties early forties (I hate to admit I am now in that category !) surely we have found our morals and shouldn't be hurting people.
Who am I to judge? As to be fair I suppose I was snooping onto his private facebook page. So long as he doesn't contact me its no skin off my nose . Just feel sorry for the females involved.

Sunday 2 February 2014

How long have you been on the shelf ?

The other day in conversation someone bought up the fact that four years on from the break up of their marriage they couldn't believe they weren't settled down again .
"Try 14 Years " I replied with, semi jokingly.
Until I sat back and thought about it.
Seriously my marriage broke up 14 Years ago. In the last 14 Years what on earth has happened to me in affairs of the heart? Actually that should read what on earth hasn't happened to me !?
I've been there done that on most things (do not read that statement as an admission to being a loose woman so to speak !) I have found myself dating, living with partners,being cheated on,dating, breaking up, dating, lied to, dating again, etc etc. And still I'm not in a long term committed relationship.
Jesus have I got slightly depressed with that thought ! (Thank you to the person who mentioned it- I will punch you next time I see you!)
I had never really looked back on my life that way. I have always been in every situation and relationship and hoped that "this is my fairy tale ending" (finally). But for whatever reason it is yet to happen.
Maybe I am on that road to that ending, maybe this blog is the path I have to travel . The bonus of writing is I can look back and laugh or weep as the case may be, as to how I have come so far. How I have evolved, discovered myself and what I want in life.
And yes after 14 years I do want to settle down. I haven't given up hope of that happy ending. I want to be with someone who loves me But I don't want a boring life. I want to wake up and go on mini adventures, days out, sit and laugh with my other half, and grow old disgracefully. Most of all I want someone who is next to me every step of the journey. Some one who in the words of Katie Perry "I will love unconditionally." Some one whose soul matches mine and whose eyes I can stare into and feel loved and wanted.
Not much for a kookie little girl like me to ask for surely ?