Ping Pong Texting

The frequency of texting a new "mate/date" is always a difficult thing to judge. Do you go full throttle and text constantly or play it cool and text once or twice a day? I'm so impatient and a self confessed textaholic (my friend used to use my texting frequency to sell bolt on packages at the mobile shop she worked at!) that I have to restrain myself from texting too much to anyone. The last couple of days have shown me both sides of the argument. My dear male friend passed a comment that sometimes you find yourself coming across as needy in a game of table tennis texting. We have all done it- you get uber excited about a new potential lurve interest and start texting backwards and forwards without pausing for breath or thinking about the potential risk of RSI of the finger digits (I swear in years to come there will be a medical term called Text thumb from the over use of texting!). You spend every waking moment thinking of something Witty to say or a bizarre strange question to ask, then when you do eventually meet you have run out of steam! You find yourself staring at your phone waiting for it to flash with a new message. The problem with this method is also the fact that once you have met and if your lucky you start dating, the frequency of the texts will slow down naturally. That then starts a small paranoia moment of you thinking they have lost interest as they don't respond within 30 seconds. Woe betide any man who doesn't take his phone to the bathroom with him and not return a text straight away!
But then only texting once a day is the opposite end of the scale. If you find the only conversation is "Hi how are you?" and "I'm fine how are you?" then take my advise don't waste another text on that person! Also if you find its always you initiating the texts then again that tends to mean they aren't thinking of you as much as they should be. Don't get me wrong, we all lead busy lives but it only takes a few minutes to send a text, if that. So there is no excuse for not sending a text to someone who has taken the time to text you and shown an interest in you.
For instance if you meet up with someone and the date isn't a disaster, I believe its good manners to send a text afterwards to say "was really nice to meet you...." followed by either "be nice to see you again" or "I'm sorry but I can only see this being a friendship" . To not bother at all is just bad manners. But then why waste anymore time on someone who wont even be civil!
Funnily enough I just found something I wrote about a year ago on the same issue:
" I took the executive decision this morning to delete all the names from my mobile of the guys who haven't put enough effort into keeping in touch with me- the ones who showed potential but didn't follow through. I was proud of myself for being strong and having a sense of pride in not wasting anymore time on said men. So what happens tonight-one of them decides to send me a text! This was obviously in response to a text I had sent over 48 hours ago! Balls! Now do I bother to text back - and if so how do I work out which man it is? Or do I stick to my guns and ignore it. Bear in mind they obviously weren't interested enough to text me back within the day of me sending the text!
Decision made- sod it! The anonymous man just isn't worthy of my attention. You see we girls still like to have men chase us rather than the other way round. I know in this day and age of modern equality it shouldn't be like that. But lets face it, every girl deep down wants to see a man take charge. It stems back to reading too many fairy tales as children, we still want to be rescued from the clutches of lonely singledom by our knight in shining armour on his white charger."

So what is the answer? Buggered if I know! I now text when it seems right too, and if I start to get the feeling I'm only getting sporadic responses or a few texts not actually asking about me then I stop wasting my time. Sometimes you have to just give up and not take it personally. Its hard but at the end of the day do you really want to waste any more time on someone who just isn't into you?

Red Trousers and a Little Black Dress

If any one would have told me Id be sitting here writing about a guy in Red Trousers I would have guessed it would be a horror story. But for once I was actually impressed!
Last night I had a lovely first date with a guy (yes you Rich!). He got bonus points for researching and finding a restaurant near me that he guessed I had never been to before. He picked me up (ok ten minutes late but that's forgiven as he text to apologise for running late) and even opened the car door for me like a true gent.
We had a delicious meal in a lovely restaurant (Swallowtail in Burnham on Crouch, on the marina) and I thoroughly enjoyed his company.  I had spent the best part of yesterday trying to decide what to wear as I'd never been to this restaurant and didn't want to be overdressed. On the advise of a good mate and my father I plumped for my faithful little black dress that regardless of where I am I know I feel wonderful in it. Even a wobble over shoe options didn't seem to worry me too much- I was in my favourite dress.
As for the red trousers (well claret or burgundy really) - well he certainly knew how to carry them off ! I never would have thought Id like a man in red trousers but he proved me wrong! He was immaculately dressed and a real pleasure to be with. He made me laugh, smile and didn't looked bored when I rambled on far too much!
I am truly looking forward to my second date !

A friend for life

I haven't just met complete idiots on line. I have made a few good friends, at least one of which I hope will be a lifetime friend.
Like every other man I met him on line. We messaged then texts then had very long telephone conversations and hit it off. We arranged to meet and got on great. After 3 dates he sent me a text which said "Bonnie I think I should let you spread your wings like a butterfly and fly"  I have the utmost respect for him, that he saw that although we got on like a house on fire it wasn't going to go any further.
Now he has become a very dear friend to me. Rightly or wrongly I do turn to him for advice. As a man he can understand the workings of a male brain better than I can (even with all my years experience). He tells me how it is, that I shouldn't give people soo many chances as they will take advantage of my kind nature and big heart. We have both been through a fair few dates, and both seem to be fixers. We both date people who need some sort of help, and then once we sort them out they then bugger off and meet someone else.
He is always there to listen to my random moaning, my latest dilemmas, and my epic fails. He never judges me and has a deep understanding of the way of the dating world.
Someday we will both meet our soul mates, who will make all these bad dates seem a distant memory. In the mean time he will have to put up with my ramblings !
If nothing else, at least the internet bought him into my life. You are a true friend Mr Stone and I look forward to reading your dating book when its written!